Jamie Madrox: Identity Crisis
by KnoKnameKnown
Summary: Following the events of Enter X-Factor, Jamie finds his whole existence thrown off balance. What's a Multiple Man to do? Go and find out exactly who- and what- he has become.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This follows on from Enter X-Factor, and although it does (hopefully) make sense in its own right if you haven't read (and reviewed, hint hint) that one before hand, please do. Also, I own nothing here and make no money... story of my life... Please review and let me know what you think.**

**Jamie Madrox: Identity Crisis**

**Chapter I: A Man Reborn**

_The Medical Wing, Xavier Institute_

Rahne Sinclair found herself sitting in the chair she had spent so much time in over the last month. Despite the best efforts of Hank McCoy and Professor Xavier to dissuade her and get her to join the other students more often, she had practically lived in the medical ward for weeks now- but there was absolutely nothing wrong with her. She had been at the side of Jamie Madrox as he lay in a critical condition. At least, she thought it was him... she hoped it was him. With all her heart she had prayed fervently that he would wake up soon, and as the familiar, infectiously carefree boy she had grown very close to in the weeks before his accident. In fact, when she thought about it, the two of them had been... close... for much longer than that, but he had only managed to get up the nerve to ask her out a few days before his accident. Unfortunately the two young mutants had managed to get themselves mixed up in a strange and frightening turn of events that by the end involved mutant gangsters, Mr Logan himself and even SHIELD, high and terrifying company for a sixteen year old shapeshifter to find herself in. Like Rahne, Jamie had been a mutant, but where Rahne had the ability to transform into a wolf-like creature, or some kind of intermediary stage, Jamie had been able to create identical though wilful 'dupes'- exact copies of his body but with personalities and minds all their own.

They had stumbled across what they had thought to be another dupe going by the name James Maddox- but this one was somehow a good ten years older than Jamie, who they had thought to be the original. When the two had come into contact, Jamie had instinctively tried to reabsorb the dupe... or the apparent dupe had tried to reabsorb _him_. Either way something had gone horribly wrong, and now there was only a man somewhere both and neither of them at the same time, a sort of median version halfway between the two. The traumatic event had left Jamie in a coma and baffled even Xavier and Dr McCoy, two of the foremost experts on mutants alive.

Then earlier that week, and with no forewarning, Jamie had woken up. Unfortunately both his body and mind were still very weak, and he spent the few hours he did not relapse into speech being examined physically and psychically in order to work out just what exactly had happened.

"Hey, Rahne," a soft voice said, breaking into her thoughts. A warm hand placed itself over her own as it lay on the table and she saw Jamie had woken up again and was sitting up in the medical bed. He was still very weak and looked absolutely terrible- gaunt, wasted and apparently sleep-deprived despite how much time he spent unconscious. However, he was at least alive, and awake.

"Hey Jamie," Rahne said back. It was not exactly what she wanted to say, but then she was not entirely sure what she did want to say. It was all too much for her. Should she mention her own feelings- her worry when he had been comatose and her relief and something... else... something indefinable when he had finally woken up? Or should she just be grateful he was at least recovering and leave him in peace to completely heal?

"How long was I out this time?" Jamie asked. A sudden thought struck him, and he somehow managed to look curious, worried and pleased at the same time. "Tell me you haven't been here the whole time..."

"Not _all _the time," Rahne said honestly. "And it wasn't that long." Well, comparatively, she added in the comfort of her own mind. Her strict religious upbringing had left her reluctant to the point of fear of lying outright; she was still half-convinced her soul was damned purely by her mutation and felt no need to damage it further. Jamie smiled, and seemed about to say something when Hank McCoy bundled in, a blue-furred mass of muscle, brain and enthusiasm at the unusual case. He knuckled over to where Jamie was lying, seeming not to notice Rahne's presence.

"Jamie, good to see you awake again," he said cheerfully. "Off you go now, Rahne, you've barely left the room all week! You need the fresh air, I need a bit of space for a few tests, so come on now, off you go..."

Rahne reluctantly shuffled away but not without a last wistful smile at Jamie who returned a smile of his own. It faded almost as soon as Rahne had left the room and was replaced by a worried expression.

"A week? A whole week?" He demanded. "That can't be right..."

"Oh, you haven't been out the whole time," Hank assured him. "But over the last week or so your, shall we say, sleeping patterns have certainly been slightly... disturbed."

"It doesn't feel like I've slept at all," Jamie said. "Has she really been here all that time?"

"She has," Hank said. He looked at his patient thoughtfully before a small smile crept over his face, humanising and warming his normally leonine face. "She cares for you a lot, you know."

"No, she doesn't," Jamie said glumly. Hank raised an eyebrow but sensed there was more to it than pessimism brought on by illness. Jamie obliged by speaking further. "She _liked-_" he emphasised the past tense- "Jamie Madrox back then, not me now, whoever I am." He sounded unusually downbeat, but Hank had learned not to make assumptions about what mood Jamie would be in during his waking hours. Often the dupes would personify a particular aspect of Jamie's personality but with no dupes extant, the shifting emotions were contained in Jamie's psyche and apparently growing stronger and more unpredictable and Jamie had been somewhat mercurial to begin with.

"You know, that's not technically true," Hank said. "I've used a few DNA samples for a few tests and as far as I can tell the Jamie at the Institute really was the original, and apart from gaining a few years you are still Jamie, and not James."

"Trust me doc, it's really not that simple," Jamie said intently. "When I'm asleep, or whatever it is that happens to me I have these... dreams, visions or something. It's like memories, but they aren't the same as the ones I had before, before the, erm, accident. People are different or they end differently and sometimes they're of places and people I never even met before."

"They must be latent memories from the dupe, or maybe his personality has not been fully absorbed yet," Hank mused, stroking his chin pensively. "Fascinating..." He saw Jamie's worried expression and quickly corrected himself. "But also of course rather worrying..." He realised he had only made it worse- he was much better with test tubes and equations than emotions. "So I will make sure I get it sorted as soon as possible. Perhaps the Professor can help you out with that aspect, it seems more his field than mine."

"I hope so," Jamie said sincerely. "So what's next? Can I leave now?"

"No, we still need a few more tests first," Hank said apologetically. "It looks like physically you're stabilising but we need to be sure. We don't know if there's been any effect on your powers, either. If James had different powers to you there may be some kind of overlap effect."

"Well thanks for the reassurance," Jamie said darkly, though slightly unfairly. It wasn't Hank's fault that he had found himself in this state, all the doctor could do was check the side-effects and hopefully cure any bad repercussions. "Sorry, that wasn't fair."

"You're clearly feeling quite stressed by the situation, that's perfectly understandable," Hank assured him. "Let me just take a blood sample for testing..."

He produced a large needle and syringe from a pocket of his lab coat and waved it cheerfully. Jamie on the other hand was far from cheerful; in fact he was outright afraid. The needle was at least seven inches long and the syringe itself looked closer to holding a gallon than a pint. His eyes grew wide as the monstrosity edged closer to his exposed skin. Hank noticed his nerves and chuckled.

"Oh come on Jamie, you've faced down Apocalypse and merged with an entirely separate person and survived! How can you be afraid of a little needle?"

"I'm not, I'm afraid of an absolutely gigantic needle!" Jamie shot back. "It just brings back bad memories okay?"

"That's odd, you've never been frightened by needles before," Hank said thoughtfully. "Perhaps it's memories of the other you resurfacing..."

"Look all I know is, before I came here I- or he, I don't know which- went to this, this laboratory place, okay? This was before mutants were common knowledge and before I was old enough to sign up here- so these guys working there didn't really know what they were dealing with," Jamie explained. "They did all these blood tests and other stuff and got absolutely nowhere... I guess I've just had enough of needles right now."

"Curiouser and curiouser," Hank thought aloud. "You've never mentioned this before, but if it _is _from another dupe then that is remarkable clarity. I think we'd better call Professor Xavier, because frankly... I don't have a clue where it goes."

"You and me both doc," Jamie conceded. "Alright, let's just get this done shall we?"

Hank quickly drew the blood sample he required and withdrew the needle. "All done."

"Well that was easy," Jamie said, sounding surprised. "Stupid subconscious, making me scared of needles, why? What's scary about-?"

"Ah, Jamie, good to see you up," a warm voice called from the entrance. Jamie had been so wrapped up in berating his own battered psyche that Xavier's entrance had taken him totally by surprise. He tried to look around but forgot the arm he had been leaning on for support had been moved. He ended up falling backwards off the bed with a grunt.

"That certainly seems like the Jamie I remember," Xavier joked. Hank couldn't help sniggering at that. Jamie, or at least one of his dupes, had often appointed himself Hank's assistant and although the extra pair of hands could come in very useful they caused more than enough problems of their own by being controlled by a literal scatter-brain. A hand grabbed hold of the bed, followed by a second as Jamie pulled himself upright- only to be followed by a third and then a forth. A second Jamie had popped into existence and now joined the original.

"Well, that was awkward," the dupe observed, brushing itself down. Jamie reabsorbed it, although not without a degree of nervousness. He was about to sit back on the bed when a voice intruded on the situation.

"Oh, the pain! I'm in agony! God, the pain! It hurts so bad!" It appeared to be another dupe, lacking either the fortitude or the willpower to climb back upright. Jamie scowled darkly and sucked it back up before they were crushed under the sheer melodramatic ham of the dupe.

"Okay Professor, do what you need to," he said. "It's not like I have any dignity left to lose any more is it..."

"At least your powers appear to be working again," Hank observed. Xavier wheeled across to Jamie and put a hand on his forehead.

"Try and relax your mind Jamie," he instructed. "This will be much easier for both of us if I can get it done quickly and easily."

Jamie closed his eyes and his breathing slowed as he tried to gain focus. Xavier quickly entered Jamie's mind. He had assumed his usual 'astral' form, a disembodied spirit body, but being incorporeal had its advantages- for one thing there was no need for his wheelchair. He came across a spirit-Jamie, who had never experienced anything like this before and was looking extremely confused.

"What's going on, Professor? What is the place?" As the 'host' mind it was Jamie who would be subconsciously shaping the surroundings. Even as Xavier began to explain, he found the vague misty shapes around them taking shape and coalescing into the familiar corridors of the Institute. It was touching, in a way, that Jamie felt the Institute to be the safest place to be in such situations.

"This is inside your mind," Xavier began. "Normally I would just be able to scan your thoughts and find out what has happened, but this is the first time I have even heard about something like this, and I think it's best to cover all possibilities."

Jamie just shrugged. He was in position to say otherwise. He watched the astral-Xavier walk away through the corridors but he had to spend a few moments getting used to the sight of the Professor walking before he remembered to follow. As they passed a few doors Jamie noticed that they were much thicker and heavier than the 'real' Institute's. He had a feeling that that had some kind of significance but was not sure what it was. He was so absorbed with the thought that he didn't notice Xavier had stopped and walked right into the back of him.

"I think it's probably better if you lead the way from here, Jamie," Xavier said kindly. Jamie looked around to find them at the foot of the main stairs.

"Really? I just... I don't much about this sort of thing, Professor," he admitted. "I mean, you're the expert here."

"But it's your mind we're in," Xavier explained. "If we want to find out the root of what happened, it has to be you who leads us there. If I tried we would just go where I think we should, or expect us to, and not necessarily to the _real _problem."

"That figures," Jamie said unconvincingly. Frankly this whole 'journey to the centre of the mind' business was beginning to freak him out a little. Actually, it was freaking him out a lot. Most people, certainly those who weren't telepaths, only ever used the top level of their minds, the thoughts and decisions; now he was taking a stroll through his own subconscious without a map and no idea what he was looking for. He eventually made his way up the stairs and was about to offer Xavier assistance when the bald telepath walked up to join him. Jamie liked the Professor and appreciated his help but there was no way he'd ever find that sight anything except extremely unnerving. He had seen the Professor in the wheelchair way too much to be comfortable with anything else.

Jamie decided that the Professor had been right to not make a conscious choice about where to go and instead just went where his feet decided felt right. At any junction he'd choose the direction that felt instinctive, and walked past all doors on the basis they didn't feel 'right'... until he got to one: the door to his room.

"Is this the right place, Jamie?" Xavier asked gently.

"Yeah," Jamie said uncertainly. "Whatever's going on it started here..." He reached towards the door but before he could open it, it burst open in his face so suddenly even Xavier stumbled in shock. Standing there was Jamie himself. It seemed even his mind had dupes as more and more Jamies strolled out of the room and surrounded the original.

"I really hope you've got a good explanation for this bit, Professor," Real-Jamie joked weakly.

"You want an explanation?" One dupe said. "Then you got it. We're through being little facets of your mind for you to create and destroy for your amusement! We're busting out, we're taking control-" the dupe grabbed a handful of Jamie's shirt and pulled him close, almost nose to nose- "you're just another obstacle in our way... for now." The dupe let go of his shirt, and pushed him away. As Jamie stumbled, the dupe swung a left cross that hit him in the face with enough force to snap his head around. The dupe lashed out again, this time hitting him in the stomach. Jamie bent double wheezing, but the dupe kicked out, smashing a foot into his jaw. Jamie found a pair of hands grabbing his arms and holding him in place as the dupe punched him again. Jamie managed to wriggle free just in time for a swift jab to catch him right in the face. His nose broke painfully and blood trickled down over his lips. Another of the dupes punched him in the kidneys and as he staggered painfully his legs were kicked out from underneath him and he fell on his back.

"Professor! Help me!" he wheezed plaintively. The dupe apparently in charge waved back the others but planted a foot on Jamie's chest to pin him down.

"He can't help you!" it said, grinning with malicious glee. "No-one can help you, no-one's going to save you... from yourselves." The other dupes closed in with identical grins and several of them chuckling malevolently. Although his head was ringing and his senses seemed to be growing numb, Jamie thought he could still hear Xavier's voice calling weakly.

"_Wake up Jamie! You've got to wake-"_

"-Up!" Jamie found himself back in the medical ward. He supposed if he had followed tradition he should have sat upright, brow pouring with sweat, but tradition be damned- his back was still incredibly painful and his head felt like a hatchet had been buried in his skull. He felt dampness on his chin and wiped at it experimentally. He was not totally surprised to find his finger smeared lightly with blood from his mouth and nose. Somehow the injuries he had sustained in his mind had transferred themselves to his physical body. He didn't know how that was possible, nor did he care; however the injuries had come about they hurt like hellfire. Hank hurried over and there was a new, stabbing pain in his arm. He looked down to see Hank had apparently shot him full of what seemed to be a painkiller or tranquiliser as the pain all over his body subsided to be replaced by a kind of comfortable numbness.

"My god, Charles, what happened to him?" Hank asked, aghast.

"Ahwaz beenuh buh mown mine." It seemed the numbness pervading his body had reached his tongue as he found it very hard to form the words 'I was beaten up by my own mind.' Hank's genius did not extend to translating gibberish, but Xavier managed to explain more coherently.

"Something has happened to his subconscious, the dupes no longer appear to be merely physical, but have somehow taken mental form as well. When he tried to resist them, well... you can see what happened."

"This is unprecedented," Hank said. "How is it even possible?"

"It's not," Xavier said grimly. "But when it comes to mutants I quickly learned that nothing is impossible anymore."

Jamie by now was trapped halfway between consciousness and sleep. Although not truly unconscious, his mind had grown foggy and vague and he found it hard to concentrate on anything. He made a valiant effort to overhear the conversation, though; this was as about as personal an interest as was possible.

"Has it got anything to do with James?" Hank mused. It was unclear whether he was merely thinking aloud or genuinely asking Xavier. "If he truly absorbed a fully independent mind, perhaps it somehow affected his own..."

"Yes... that might explain it," Xavier said, steepling his fingers. It was impossible to be excited or enthusiastic when one of his students was lying severely injured, but he did sound encouraged by the hypothesis- it would at least give him something to work on in his attempts to cure Jamie. "If there was some kind of psychic force involved in the process, perhaps there was some kind of shockwave affecting the part of him that gives the dupe personalities..."

"Do you really think that's the cause of all the problems?" Hank asked.

"I think it's as likely as any other theory," Xavier said. "It would explain a lot- Jamie would be unconscious so much as his mind tried to repair itself, and the slow recovery too- he is still trying to heal two bodies with one body's resources until he stabilises mentally..."

Hank said something else but all Jamie could hear was a wordless drone as unconsciousness finally overtook him completely and his world lapsed into darkness.

He woke up some time later to find that his body no longer twanged white-hot with every movement, although he still felt extremely stiff and painful. He was now naked from the waist up and someone had wrapped a bandage around his stomach at the level of his kidneys, he assumed to try and limit bruising and protect from further injury. He dabbed at his nose experimentally and although it was quite painful Hank had managed to reset it. Down in the medical ward he could not see out of a window to try and work out what kind of time it was, although at a primal level he sensed it to be some time very early in the morning- there was no sign of Hank, a giveaway in itself, as the blue-furred doctor kept notoriously long hours.

Jamie stretched, paused with a grunt of pain, and then tried again, this time more slowly. At the second attempt he managed to flex sore muscles without excessive discomfort. He tried to think back to what he had heard of the conversation between Xavier and Hank. The most pressing detail he could remember was the name James, the other self whose absorption had started all this off. He remembered mentioning that the other mind had been the one that had caused the original problems. Suddenly he realised what he had to do to solve the problem. Maybe it was a flash of miraculous inspiration or maybe it was part of his mind- perhaps it was James' mind, briefly rising to the surface- but somehow he realised he had to come to terms with the other psyche merged with his own. He had to either compromise or conquer it, but however he did it he had to make sure it was his mind that was dominant and in control. He also knew that before he could sublimate it, he had to understand it and know exactly what he was dealing with. And that meant finding out who James Maddox had been- his life, his relationships, his existence as an individual and not an altered dupe.

By now Jamie's mind was racing ahead, making associations and linking implications as he tried to work out what his next action should be. Clearly he would not get any answers by lying in a hospital bed being prodded and poked by Hank, and just as clearly neither Hank nor Xavier would let him go until they were convinced they had the answer- or at least believed him recovered enough to look out for himself. By pure serendipity he found himself in the perfect position to bypass their protests and sneak out while they could not stop him. He knew they would quickly discover his disappearance and start searching for him, but he had literally been living two lives until a few weeks ago- how hard could it be to do it again and reinvent himself, at least long enough for his task? It was dishonest and if he was honest, quite cowardly, to creep away like a thief instead of trying to state his case but he did not see he had a choice.

He levered himself out of the bed and saw his shirt had been slung over a chair. He quickly slipped it on and found his shoes. He pulled them on hurriedly and was about to sneak out when he heard a voice murmur his name. He very nearly cried out in shock and blew his chance but managed to keep his mouth shut. He looked around for the speaker but in the gloom could not make anyone out until his eyes fell on a second bed, but with the bedclothes wrapped around a sleeping body. He crept across and leaned over the sleeper, only to find himself looking at the familiar auburn hair and gentle features of Rahne. He smiled sadly. He was touched and flattered that Rahne had not given up her sentry duties, but he knew that he would have to abandon her like he had everyone else. Enough of the original Jamie Madrox remained in him for him to be sure he cared very deeply for the Scottish shapeshifter, too deeply perhaps.

"You're a jerk, Madrox," he berated himself under his breath. He was all too aware of how much his sudden vanishing act might hurt Rahne, but also aware that even that may end up as the lesser of two evils. She would be upset by his disappearance but what if he stayed and never got control of himself, or rather his selves? That could end just as badly, or possibly even worse- but the only difference being how much longer the mutual heartbreak might last. He had a sudden idea and slunk over to Hank's office. The furry genius had had far too much experience with New Mutants and their pranks to leave it unlocked but Jamie soon improvised a lock-pick and slipped through. He couldn't remember learning how to do that... perhaps some of James' skills had carried over with his mind and memories. He flicked a desk light on and soon located a notepad and a pen. The first few sheets of paper were covered in untidy scrawl- Hank's big paws did not lend themselves to neat handwriting- but he quickly pulled out a clean sheet and sat at the desk. He drummed his fingers as he tried to think of something to write. If he had been a romantic leading man he knew he would quickly whip up a poignant, thoughtful message or even a love sonnet; unfortunately he was just a very confused and conflicted young man about to break his girlfriend's heart, and no flowery language would change that fact. Eventually he decided to just write what came to mind, to go with his heart and not his brain- the former organ was far more reliable right now anyway.

_Rahne_

_I'm writing this note for several reasons. The first is to apologise for what I've done. You are one of the most forgiving and charitable people I know but I don't expect you to excuse me for this, and I don't blame you for that. All those names you call me and the things you think, they're far too generous to me. I can't find the words to tell you how much I regret what I have to do._

_The second thing is thanks. Thank you for everything you've done for me, looking out for me and keeping me company and just being there in my life. Thank you for showing me all the kindness and the generosity and the care you're capable of. As well as my best friend in life, you are also my inspiration. When I'm around you, the sun is brighter, my life is richer and I feel like the luckiest man alive._

_The last and most important thing is something I don't think I ever said to you when I should have done- I love you. More than anything, and despite everything I've done, I truly love you and I think I always will. I only hope you find someone who can show you what love should be. _

_With all my heart,_

_Jamie_

Jamie looked down at the letter. He was surprised at how readily the pen had transcribed his heart onto the page, but he only wished he had enough words to tell her his true feelings, if the language existed to do them justice. This was far less than she deserved but all he could manage. He only hoped she would understand the genuine emotion behind the clumsy words. He folded the note quickly but neatly and made his way back out of the office, turning off the light as he went. He made his way back over to the bed and looked down at the sweet, kind, wonderful girl who had given him the best weeks of his life. He quickly slipped the note under the pillow and on an impulse bent down and kissed her on the cheek. She rolled over but did not wake up, and so it was that no-one saw Jamie Madrox leave the Xavier Institute and out of the gates. He was several hundred yards down the road before his self-loathing overtook him and he punched a lamppost.

"_Goddamnit_!" The pain was of the heart not the body, but stung all the more for that. He felt the worst, most despicable man alive, but knew that for his sanity he had to complete his journey. He would have to forget Rahne, and hope she would forget him in turn.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Chapter 2 is up- better late than never I suppose. And to make up for delay, this one has Tabby in it. As always, reviews welcomed!**

**Chapter 2: Morning After The Night Before**

_The Medical Ward, Xavier Institute_

True to form, Hank had risen, eaten and started his work in the laboratory before most of the other occupants had even woken up. As he knuckled into the laboratory, a familiar scent reached his nose. His senses were nothing on Logan's, but they were a massive step up from most, and Rahne's was one smell he had got very familiar with, and used to, in recent times. He wondered if she had got up even earlier than he had, or had she somehow managed to sneak in after hours? Either way, it showed impressive determination. Unfortunately he was not fully awake or his ears would have picked up the strange noise sooner. As it was, it took him some time to identify it- an odd, muffled snuffling noise. It was only when he got closer that he recognised it as someone trying very hard not to cry, as it transpired a red-haired Scottish someone. Rahne had her back turned to him and as he reached out a soothing hand she twisted slightly to make sure he could not see her face.

"Rahne? What's wrong?" He asked gently. Her only response was a choked noise and a piece of paper thrust towards him. He took it and quickly read it over. Unfortunately tears had blotched the writing in places but he recognised the handwriting as Jamie's. As he scanned it he soon realised the detail that had been bugging him even before Rahne's misery had distracted him- a distinct lack of movement from Jamie's bed. He tugged at the sheets and had his suspicions confirmed- they had been arranged to give the impression of a body that was no longer there. He was not quite sure exactly what he should do next. Sobbing teenage girls could not be solved with an equation.

*_Professor, I think you should come to the laboratory as soon as possible,_* he called telepathically. *_Oh and maybe Ororo too... I think she might be needed._* The African woman was a maternal and comforting figure, much more useful and experienced in situations like this. It only took a few moments before they entered the laboratory. Xavier's eyes narrowed as he noticed Jamie's absence immediately, but Ororo had only got eyes for Rahne and she hugged the Scottish girl as warmly as possible and started whispering comforts into her ears.

"How long as he been gone?" Xavier got straight to the point. Ororo did hear that and looked around in surprise.

"Gone? Who's gone?"

"J-J-Jamie!" Rahne spluttered. "He's gone and he d-didn't even say g-g-goodbye..."

"Hush now, come on Rahne," Ororo said gently. "Let's not get too upset before we know what's happened exactly..."

"But he's gone," Rahne whispered miserably.

"We'll find him, and we'll bring him back," Ororo assured her. "He'll be okay, we'll sort it out."

Logan had also appeared, sensing something wrong from the way Ororo and the Professor had exited so quickly. He stomped into the room, only doing the smallest of double-takes as he saw Rahne crying. He was no more comfortable with emotional kids than Hank, but it seemed that Ororo had the situation relatively in control. "What's the problem, Chuck?"  
"Jamie left in the night," Xavier said gravely. "At the moment, that's all we know. We don't know where he's going or what he's looking for, if anything."

"Stupid kid, he's in no condition to go wandering off on his own," Logan growled. "In that kinda state I don't know how he's going to look out for himself."

That prompted Rahne to start sniffling again, but Ororo hugged her comfortingly while shooting a disapproving glare over her head towards Logan, who had the grace to look abashed.

"I'm just saying he might not-" he began but Ororo's glower intensified and he took the hint. Very few people could shut the Wolverine up midsentence but Ororo was one of them, and with good reason. Logan subsided but not without grumbling to himself. "Alright, alright, I was just saying... no need for that kinda-"

"Logan?" Xavier interrupted his little tirade. Logan stopped and looked over at the Professor, who gave further instructions. "I think it's best if this doesn't reach the others until we know what's going on... can you try and find a way to keep them occupied?"

"What kind of occupation are you thinking of?" Logan said, smirking.

"Oh, I'm sure you'll think of something," Xavier said, smiling himself. He knew that Logan had recently come up with a new Danger Room sequence he was particularly proud of and anxious to test. Besides, not only would it keep the other students busy it would do them good to stay alert; there hadn't been many incidents recently but that didn't mean they shouldn't be prepared.

_Half an hour later, the Danger Room_

Tabitha Smith made her way out of the changing room, grumbling to herself under her breath. Logan's tutelage had always tended to the style of 'the school of hard knocks' but the Canadian mutant had outdone himself with that last program. Tabby was particularly sore about it, in more ways than one. She had been doing very well, and been feeling particularly pleased with herself when with a strategic time-bomb she had managed to take out a claw about to capture strait-laced Scott 'Boy Scout' Summers as she thought of him. She had just enough time to contemplate the gloating rights when a laser beam had hit her right in the stomach and blasted her against all. In the shower afterwards she had not been impressed to find a bruise covering half her back and making it painful to move.

"Stupid Scott, stupid Badger, why'd I come back here again?" she asked herself. "Should have stuck with the Brotherhood, they had the right idea, none of this stuff... why'd I leave them again?" She knew the answer to that one was that they were lead by a shapeshifting sociopath in the name of a megalomaniac, and there was the tiny matter of the house being demolished as a safety hazard, but she thought even that was preferable to these damn Danger Room sessions. She scuffed her foot moodily and kept up her little litany, only stopping when she heard what sounded like someone crying. She realised she had made it back to the girls' rooms, more specifically that Rahne was sharing with the Institute's newest member, Danielle Moonstar. She could not tell which of them it was, but with uncharacteristic courtesy she knocked before barging in. Of course, she didn't actually wait for an answer, but even so it was more than she'd usually bother with.

"Hey, what's the matter, sis?" she asked. She could see now it was Rahne, lying on the bed face down. "This is not like you at all."

"G'way," Rahne said into the pillow with her voice muffled.

"Sorry Rahney, no can do," Tabby said. "If one of my friends is crying, it's my duty to get 'em smiling again- so spill girlfriend, what's got you so upset?"

"It's Jamie," Rahne said. She still didn't look at Tabby but knew from experience that the enthusiastic blonde would not leave her alone until she got an answer. Tabby was now very curious indeed; Xavier had been deliberately vague about what exactly had happened to Jamie, and why, but all the New Mutants had visited their unofficial little brother. It had come as something of a surprise to find he was now older than any of them, but he was still a good friend and seeing him so beaten up had not been pleasant.

"Yeah, not nice seeing him like that," Tabby said sympathetically. "Although I got to admit, he's kinda hunky now he's all grown up..."

That only drew a fresh sob from Rahne and Tabby realised that was probably not the best thing to say. "Oh, I'm sorry!" she apologised quickly. "Don't worry, girl, he's all yours. I'm just admiring the view." That seemed to make things even worse and Tabby began to get genuinely worried. Rahne was known for her optimism and faith that things would work out, so it had to be something pretty bad if it kept her feeling so dejected.

"He's gone," Rahne explained, sniffing miserably. "When I woke up in- I mean, when I went in this morning, he was just gone, he didn't even say goodbye..."

"What a jerk," Tabby said, hoping to show solidarity. The attempt seemed to work slightly better than her previous efforts as it did get a smile out of Rahne, albeit a weak and watery one.

"I s'pose," she admitted. "Didn't even say anything, just left me this note..."

"A note, huh? Pass it over will ya, I want a read." Tabby took the note and scanned it quickly. She had been expecting no more than a simple 'I don't think this is working, I'm sorry, we're through'- although that probably said more about her dating experience and poor choice in boys than anything. She certainly hadn't expected a clearly heartfelt effort like this. No-one had ever written her a love letter before. Then again, she could not honestly say she had ever felt the depth of emotion that had gone into the letter. Rahne and Jamie's mutual attraction had been obvious to everyone and a source of much teasing, but Tabby for one had never guessed there had been any more to it than puppy love.

"Tabby? Are you in there?" a voice called from outside. It was Amara, who had clearly noticed Tabby's sudden absence and gone looking for her friend. Tabby debated whether to invite the other girl in or not; on the one hand, sisterly solidarity would probably mean a lot to Rahne, but on the other hand, the Scottish girl probably wouldn't appreciate everyone seeing her in her current state.

"Yeah, I'm here. Just helping Rahne out a little."

Amara entered cautiously and made her way over to where Tabby was sitting on Rahne's bed. She was about to ask Rahne what the matter was but Tabby silenced her with a look. Rahne was probably feeling miserable enough without having to explain herself again. Tabby looked meaningfully towards the door and Amara quickly made her way out, sensing this was not a conversation to be held right here. Tabby followed quickly, pausing only for a few words of encouragement to Rahne.

"You just stay here til you feel better, okay? I'll make sure that jerk gets what's coming to him."

"Okay," Rahne whispered. "But could you not tell anyone about this? I don't want them to think I'm being stupid..."

"Don't worry about that, Rahne, just leave it to me. No-one's going to be bothering you on my watch," Tabby assured her. Rahne just nodded and rolled onto her back on the bed, reading the note Jamie had left for about the sixteenth time. Tabby was just closing the door when she heard Rahne calling softly.

"Tabby?"

"Yeah?"

"If they do find him again... make sure they leave him in one piece. I want a chance at him myself."

"No problemo." Tabby smiled to herself. Rahne was far from okay, but it seemed she was at least making a start.

"So what happened to upset Rahne so much?" Amara asked as soon as the door closed.

"Tell you in a bit," Tabby said. "First, I want you to find all the others and get them to meet up, okay?"

"That doesn't seem... right," Amara said. It wasn't the exact word she had been looking for but she couldn't quite put her true feelings into words. It just didn't sit right with her that Tabby was about to explain everything in front of everyone, no doubt starting dozens of rumours, without Rahne being there. Tabby must have sensed what her friend was thinking as she hastened to qualify her actions.

"Mara, the guy just upped and left the Institute in the middle of the night, no-one knows where he's gone," she explained. "It's not like the Prof and the others will keep that a big secret, there's no way they could. I just want to make sure that they all know if anyone teases Rahne or jokes about it I will personally stick a time-bomb somewhere _really _personal."

"Normally you'd be the first in line to make a joke," Amara observed. It was one of the things that she liked about the blonde mutant- where Amara was still not truly free of her formalised upbringing and rituals, there did not appear to be any situation or any person Tabby respected enough not to joke about.

"You didn't see her when I first found her," Tabby said sadly. "She was really, really upset. The worst thing that could happen would be for Ray or Bobby to come up with one of their apparently witty jokes..."

"Yeah, I can see that," Amara conceded. Bobby and Ray had appointed themselves official pranksters of the Institute but as teenage boys their jokes all tended to be crass, crude and as subtle as a malfunctioning Sentinel. Admittedly Tabby's sense of humour was not exactly refined but she did at least know what lines not to cross. Now in agreement, the two girls separated to find their friends and make sure the situation was explained.

The senior team on the other hand had been called together almost as soon as the training session had finished. Despite their greater experience they had taken their share of knocks trying to complete Logan's little experiment and even Scott was hobbling slightly as he entered. Kurt was the last to arrive, bamf-ing into the room.

"Man, I can't even move my tail anymore," he complained. He was massaging the injured appendage softly, trying to get it to look anything other than limp and lifeless.

"Quit complaining elf, it wasn't that bad," Logan said. He had decided the lesson would be improved by an interactive element and had taken part himself. So what if he had known was coming? He still got hit, and he wasn't even that sore.

"Says the man with the healing factor," Kurt grumbled under his breath. Fortunately he was spared Logan's response when Hank and Professor Xavier entered the room with matching grave expressions. The X-Men quickly stopped their bickering and complaints in favour of listening to their mentor.

"What's the problem, Professor?" Scott had instantly gone into leader-mode. Even after a punishing session in the Danger Room he was already prepared and totally willing to go out on an official mission too. In a way, it was quite impressive. In other ways, it was extremely annoying. However, he was the leader of the team and it was his example they would have to follow.

"Jamie left the Institute last night," Xavier explained. "Unfortunately, we don't yet know where he went, or if he is looking for someone or somewhere in particular. He's still not fully recovered from what happened and I don't think it's safe for him to be on his own without someone to watch out for him."

"And you want us to try and find him?" Scott surmised. "Has Cerebro turned anything up yet?"

"Unfortunately not," Xavier admitted. "Cerebro senses mutant powers being used more than the mutants themselves- and even if Jamie did use his powers, in light of recent events there's a good chance that his power... signature will not be the same."

"So we don't know where he's gone, and we don't have any way to find out where he's going, is that right?" Kurt summarised.

"That's basically correct, yes," Xavier admitted. "But I think I can guess where he might be going."

Hank looked surprised by that; Xavier hadn't mentioned that when they had begun their initial searches. On the other hand, they hadn't really gone very far before Xavier decided to call the others in and get them involved, so it was possible the Professor had only just come up with his new theory.

"When I tried to read Jamie's mind and discover what happened to him, almost all his thoughts were based on here, the Institute," Xavier said. "But then things started to take an unexpected turn, and an unfortunate one."

"What happened?" Kitty asked curiously. "Was it bad?"

"What happened is Jamie's business," Xavier said firmly. "If he ever wants to talk about it, then it will be his choice. It's not my place to discuss it- or yours to try and find out."

"So pretty bad then?" Kurt guessed. He knew if Xavier was so adamant about keeping secrecy, then he must be worried about it, and it took something special to worry the Professor. A warning hand fell on his shoulder.

"Drop it, elf. The Professor's got his reasons, and that should be good enough," Logan said. He had plenty of experience with bad dreams and a troubled mind of his own, and although the Professor wouldn't go into detail, Logan knew personally how bad things could get.

"I'm just curious," Kurt protested.

"So where do you think he's gone?" Hank had sensed the conversation veering away and quickly tried to steer it back on track.

"It's likely that after that experience, Jamie no longer thinks of the Institute as safe," Xavier said. "That's most likely why he left, or at least partially. So the next logical place would be somewhere he _did_ feel safe- and that is probably his home before he came here."

"Makes sense," Logan said. "Feels safe, he knows where he's going and how to get there, and if he wants to try and get his head back together, it's a pretty good place to go."

"So where was home?" Scott asked.

"New Mexico," Xavier said. Scott raised an eyebrow.

"I guess we won't have to race him back there," he said laconically. "Okay Kurt, get the jet prepped. This should be easy enough."

_Later that night_

Tabby had of course been amongst the first to hear about where the senior team had gone. For someone so apparently carelessly airheaded she was remarkably astute and she had long since discovered that there were very few things she could not pry out of Kurt if she tried hard enough. It had actually been a coincidence that she had run into the furry teleporter as he headed towards the hangar but it hadn't taken long after that for her to cajole him into sharing details. She had decided that this was information she would keep to herself- if the boys discovered it was anything to do with Jamie she was prepared to bet a lot of money- someone else's money, of course, but plenty of it- that one of them would be insensitive enough to pester Rahne about it, the last thing she needed right then.

As for Tabby herself, she was making use of the absence of the senior team to sneak around in the middle of the night to raid Logan's supply of alcohol. He knew that someone had found it, but could not bring it up with Xavier without admitting he had brought alcohol into the Institute 'for special occasions.' Since then Tabby had made it her sworn mission to hunt down and recover the drink wherever Logan managed to hide it. She was currently headed towards the smaller garage where Logan kept his motorcycle, separate from the other vehicles of the Institute. She would not dream of touching the bike itself- even Tabby had her limits- but as Logan's little oasis amongst the chaos of the Institute it made sense that it would be where he tried to hide his other secret pleasure.

She was sneaking past the stairs when she heard footsteps approaching the top of the stairs and quickly ducked behind the nearest cover. Unfortunately this took the form of a small antique urn on a plinth and didn't actually hide her at all, but as it turned out the newcomer was totally oblivious to Tabby's presence, and would have remained that way unless the cheerful blonde hadn't announced her presence with a whisper.

"Rahne? What are you doing?"

"I've got to get out of here," Rahne said desperately. "I don't want to have everyone asking me all the time if I'm okay, and what's happening to Jamie... even if I knew."

"Not that I blame you for wanting to get out, but believe me when I say it's much harder than you think," Tabby said sincerely. She had more experience in that kind of situation than any other student at the Institute and possessed a tough shell underneath the street-wise appearance. Rahne on the other hand was as determined and resolute as anyone Tabby knew but had never had to do something like this before.

"For me, maybe," Rahne acknowledged. "But for a wolf... and besides, if I'm going to find Jamie I'll need to use my nose anyway..."

"That's a sweet thought Rahney but I don't think even Badger could track him all the way to New Mexico," Tabby pointed out.

"He hasn't gone there," Rahne said decisively. "When I read that letter, I just... knew somehow that he's not gone home, he's gone to find out more about James."

"You know him that well?" Tabby couldn't help feeling a little sceptical but on looking at Rahne's expression she realised the Scottish shapeshifter was deadly serious. There was something about the other girl's stance and the tone of her voice that convinced Tabby Rahne really was sure about her thoughts, and more to the point Tabby realised she felt convinced too. "You really do, don't you? That's... wow. In that case I guess there's only one thing I can say."

"Yes?" Rahne was convinced that Tabby had a terrible joke or teasing comment lined up, so the blonde's next words came as something of a shock.

"You go girl!"

"You really mean that?" Rahne said, surprised.

"Hell yeah I do! I just wish I had someone who cared that much about me," Tabby said lightly.

"You will, Tabby," Rahne said sincerely. "You just have to have faith."

"And someone to watch your back," Tabby rejoined quickly. "Now scram! Go get him! I'll cover for you here."

"Thanks Tabby," Rahne said. She transformed into her wolf form and bounded away out of the doors and through the Institute grounds.

"Any time, Rahne," Tabby said. She grinned to herself. She couldn't wait to tell Amara about this, and why stop her search for Logan's bootlegged alcohol now? It seemed only fair to drink to Rahne's success.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for the delay, but reality won't save itself you know, sometimes I have to step in and defeat the all-powerful demons that would seek to destroy the universe. Oh yeah, and I had a load of actual work to do too. Hope you enjoy, and please review.**

**OYOJ&R3 **

_The next morning, Bayville_

It was still very early when Jamie stepped out of the motel he'd spent the night in. He doubted he had slept more than a few hours, and none of them in comfort. Unfortunately, there were very few places that would accept a lodger at three o'clock in the morning, and even fewer that he could afford. He had managed to keep hold of the wallet belonging to James and had lucked into enough money to pay for the night, but his money would not last much longer. He decided that that was a problem to be solved when he came to it, right now he needed to work out what his next step should be. He had considered returning to his home but had decided against it; for one thing, he had no idea how he would explain his new situation, and for another it was the James personality causing the problems, not his own.

He decided he would have to think this through properly. He found a pokey little coffee shop and slumped into a chair at an outside table. He wondered if the others had noticed he was missing yet- surely Dr McCoy must have been in by now and noticed his vanished patient? And Rahne... she would be up too. He quickly shoved that thought aside; this was no time to be worrying about such things. A skinny, underfed girl in a cheap-looking uniform shuffled up and asked him for an order. He just named the first that came to mind and went back to his thoughts. He had to try and decide what to do... when it struck him, it felt like he had been rammed by a tank. Where better to go than the research facility he had been taken to before Xavier recruited him? Mutants had been unknown back then, and his powers had manifested at birth rather than at puberty like most mutants. Professor Xavier was an old friend of Jamie's parents and realised almost immediately what had happened, but had not created the facilities or confidence to take Jamie in himself. Instead he had recommended a nearby research centre that he could advise as they researched what would later be known as mutants.

Jamie felt a sudden surge of... something. Confidence? Recognition? Whatever it was and however it had come about he now realised that 'James' agreed with him regarding his course of action. The research centre was the place to go, he was sure of it. It seemed that James either knew or suspected something about the place and that was good enough for Jamie. The skinny waitress reappeared and put the paper cup on the table. Jamie didn't even look around as he reached out absently and took a sip: weak, watery, tepid- exactly as he had suspected. He had never been one for coffee himself, but an unknown impulse had prompted him to take a chance on this place. He presumed it was a facet of James making itself known. He smiled wryly- a new taste for coffee was the last problem to worry about. He realised the waitress hadn't left his side and was about to ask why when he noticed she was not looking at him but out at the street

"Get out of here! Go!" she was muttering, making ineffectual shooing gestures. "Dirty stray, should be put down... Go on, get!"

Jamie was shaking his head in disbelief when he suddenly had a horrible thought. A stray dog? He had never heard of such a thing in Bayville before, and one that just happened to show here? Surely it wasn't... it couldn't be... it was, wasn't it? That was no dog at all, but a wolf- a werewolf. He didn't look across and betray his alarm but did sneak a glance from the corner of his eye. A big dog, too sleek to be a stray, and the right colour as well...

"Damn it, Rahne!" He cursed, slamming the cup on the table. The motion was so violent the coffee sloshed over the sides and onto his hand, but it was so lukewarm he barely noticed. He had really hoped that Rahne could take a hint and move on but it seemed the stubborn streak he admired so much had kicked in once more. If she had been determined enough to track him here then there was no way she'd be scared off by a scrawny girl on minimum rate- the only way she was leaving was if he lead her. He slipped the money for his drink onto the table and walked off. As he passed the waitress, who was still haranguing what she took to be a stray dog.

"Follow me," Jamie muttered as he passed Rahne and made his way back to the motel. He had paid for a whole day's accommodation and so the room would still serve as a meeting point, even a seedy, run-down one. He ignored Rahne as she trotted along beside him, staying in her wolf shape as he entered the building. The receptionist only noticed that Jamie was not alone as he started up the stairs.

"Hey, what are you-? There are no pets in here!" He protested. The words barely left his mouth before there was an odd grating noise.

"Fine," said the young red-head standing exactly where the dog had been. The receptionist found himself slightly lost for words as the girl also departed upwards.

"But... no... There was a... you... I need a new job," he eventually sighed. He went back to his cheap sci-fi novel, which was boring, derivative and as trashy as hell- which made it ten times better than trying to do his job.

Jamie opened the door and began pacing angrily up and down as Rahne sidled in nervously. She hadn't been so naive as to think Jamie would welcome her with open arms but she certainly hadn't expected him to be quite this angry. He seemed to be on the verge of physical violence; even if she couldn't literally smell anger dripping from every pore of his body the way his posture and the slightly deranged look in his eyes gave it away. She tried to stay as far away as possible until she worked out why he was so angry, but in a dank, poky little room like this one, that was not an easy task to achieve. Eventually Jamie stopped his pacing but that only made things worse somehow, as instead of his relentless movement all the energy appeared to be focussed through his eyes and sent directly at Rahne, who had to fight not to shift into her intermediate form in reflexive defence.

"What are you doing here?" Jamie snarled at her. Rahne tried to get her throat to unlock long enough to answer but it didn't appear that Jamie was in any mood to listen anyway, instead carrying on with his tirade. "Why can't you just take a hint and leave me the hell alone? Was I not clear enough for you? I don't need your help... and I don't want you here!"

"I can't just let you do this on your own," Rahne said stubbornly. "Whatever happened before we... before all this, we were friends, Jamie, and friends don't watch each other put themselves through something like this on their own."

"And you're plan was what? To tag along like a faithful doggy following master, getting in the way and refusing to back off? You think you're being so helpful and loyal and all that shit, but if you were a real friend, you'd respect me enough to let me do this _on my own_ like I wanted to! I don't need to be trying to watch out for some dumb god-bothering little idiot!"

"This isn't you, Jamie," Rahne said. She managed to keep her voice level but inwardly she was beginning to feel genuinely frightened. This really _wasn't _the Jamie she knew, and from the little she knew of James he had hardly been the kind to explode like this. There were more problems here than she had thought- and more than she suspected Jamie knew either. "Let me help you..."

"I can take care of myself!" Jamie snapped. "And I can take care of you, too... oh yeah, I can take care of you real good. You won't be bothering anyone any time soon..." He advanced on her with his hands forming cruel claws and the enraged expression on his face being replaced by one of cold calculation. Rahne suddenly realised his intention and shifted into her lupine shape- as a human she was short and petite, no match for Jamie, but as a wolf she was a much, much tougher prospect.

Jamie did not seem perturbed and kept advancing, but as Rahne tried to dodge aside she underestimated the amount of space in the room and ended up barging into Jamie. Unbalanced, the young mutant started to fall; he tried to grab something to stay upright but the only thing nearby was the bed-sheet, which slid off the bed and wrapped itself around him as he lay prone and unmoving. Rahne reverted to her human form and frantically hauled the sheets off. Jamie was still breathing and even as she watched lurched upright, only to fall backwards with a groan.

"Owwww..." he moaned. "Did anyone get the number of the Juggernaut that hit me?"

That sounded much more Jamie-ish and the glaze over his eyes was gone- they were back to the familiar warm brown. Then again, his anger had come out of nowhere and with no warning so Rahne was not going to consider the situation safe just yet. Jamie looked over at her and his expression became one of confusion.

"Rahne? What are you doing here?" He sounded genuinely puzzled until the last moments resurfaced in his memory. The way his face changed in a blink from confusion to remorse would have been funny if it wasn't because he had been attacking his girlfriend... or rather his ex-girlfriend... or something. Whatever the exact nature of their relationship, it would not be improved by his latest actions. "I'm sorry... I really am... I, I don't know what happened... it just... I just... lost it."

"Just a little bit," Rahne agreed coldly. He winced but could not blame her for being hostile. Then again, she _had _come after him after he specifically asked her not to. He may have overreacted slightly- overreacted a hell of a lot, really- but he was well within his rights to be annoyed by her actions.

"Why _are _you here, anyway?" he asked, trying to move the situation on quickly.

"I was worried about you," Rahne said. "You know the Professor and Dr McCoy don't think you should be up and about this soon."

"I know, but-"

"And I think you just proved their point."

"Well, I... I mean that... you might think that... but..." Jamie blustered for a bit before conceding the point with a sigh. "Okay, got me there. But I can't afford to wait, Rahne! I need to know what happened... what's _happening _to me before I go crazy." He thought for a moment, then added, "-Crazier. Assuming that's even possible. I mean, I literally lost my mind for a while, I don't need the new one playing up as well."

"You're not crazy Jamie," Rahne told him. It would have sounded much more convincing if her tone of voice had actually made it seem she believed it herself. "You're just... going through something. You need to get this sorted, and to do that, you need help. And whether you like it or not, so help me God I will be there with you all the way."

Jamie looked at her for a long moment then suddenly burst out laughing. Rahne was unnerved by his sudden mood swing- again- but at least this time he had not developed sudden homicidal tendencies, which was a plus. Besides, his laughter was not mocking or derogatory- it was the laugh of someone releasing tension. "Even I'm not crazy enough to try to stop you," he chuckled. He spontaneously reached out and hugged her closely... almost too closely. Even before his sudden change of circumstances- and body- their romance had been budding rather than flowering and the physical aspects had been to say the least rather awkward. Their current situation was even more so.

"Well, this is... uncomfortable," Jamie said at last, quickly stepping as far away as politeness allowed. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have... that was wrong. I'm sorry." The silence stretched out for several aeons as each of them wrestled with embarrassment and a lack of words. Jamie made his way to a window and whistled jauntily as he paid very close attention to the landscape, while Rahne's focus shifted from floor to ceiling and back again as she waited for her tidal wave of a blush to subside. Jamie stopped whistling and coughed self-consciously. "Please say something..."

"Erm... That wasn't actually so bad?" Rahne hazarded. It wasn't really exactly what she had in mind; she'd been trying to indicate that she did not blame Jamie for the situation or hold it against him, but realised as soon as she spoke there was at least one other interpretation of her words.

"So you're saying... what? I have terrible... hugging skills? What a low blow," Jamie said, but Rahne noticed he was grinning and clearly he had guessed what she had really meant. Rahne was glad one of them was making light of the situation but as an infatuated teenage girl it was not really the kind of thing she appreciated joking about.

"Okay, fine, you've made it quite clear you don't want me around, I'll just stay as far away as possible and solve that little problem for you shall I?" she said sharply. Part of her was shocked at her reaction- wasn't Jamie supposed to be the emotionally wrecked one?- but for the most part she realised the words were heartfelt. In a way laughing at her like that was almost worse than his attempted physical assault- at least in that case he had been out of control.

"I'm not saying I don't want you around," Jamie tried to placate her before his brain slotted memories back in place. "Actually, that's exactly what I'm saying. Well, I was... but the point is, not for the reasons you think."

That did make Rahne drop her angry expression, although only because she was too confused to be cross at the same time. Jamie quickly seized the advantage and pressed on with his explanation.

"The reason I wanted to do this on my own is that I don't know anything about James, who he is, what he did, what happened to him before... and I don't know what the answers will be. I just don't want you to think I'm this guy you think I am... or something... when really, I'm not that guy- I'm some other guy now that you don't know." There was another long pause but Rahne did not appear to be quite so annoyed as before. On the other hand, neither did she appear particularly enlightened. That was understandable- the stream of drivel he'd just subjected her to had made Jamie confuse even himself. "That made much more sense in my head," he admitted.

"So you're saying you don't trust me?" Rahne said eventually. She didn't sound overly angry but Jamie had known her too well for too long not to notice the distinctly dangerous undertone to her voice. He would have to make damn sure he got his next words right. He didn't.

"Say what?"

"You don't trust me," Rahne repeated. "You think you're being all manly and strong going off on this journey of yours to find the answers you want, even though you're worried about what they might be... that's it! You're worried, aren't you? You're scared, even just a little bit... and you don't want people to know."

"I'm not scared," Jamie protested. "Much. Sort of. Most of the time, anyway. I just don't know what will happen and I didn't want you to get hurt if this all goes wrong."

"Oh so you're protecting me now are you?" Rahne said. She was generally a very kind and sympathetic girl, but she was also Scottish, and with that came certain traits way beyond nature or nurture. Rahne did not get angry... she bypassed that state and went straight to enraged, which was not a good thing for anyone in the vicinity. "So who's going to look out for you? Do you really think badly enough of me that you didn't think I would help you through this? Did it not get through to your pathetic excuse of a brain that I don't care about whoever James used to be? I care about _you_, Jamie! I care about you a lot... and I'd hoped you'd noticed by now. Maybe you're really _not _who I thought you were, because the Jamie Madrox I know, the Jamie I lo... I cared about would never do this to a friend."

For several long moments, Jamie could think of nothing to say, instead standing gaping at Rahne in shock. His expression was that of someone who had just had a bomb blow up nearby- in one sense, that was precisely what had happened.

"... Holy shit," he managed eventually. He noticed Rahne's expression and quickly corrected himself. "Excuse my French. I guess I did kind of deserve that... okay, I totally deserved that, but... whoa."

Rahne herself was quite surprised she had blown up quite so dramatically but was not about to admit it. She was still very angry with Jamie and admitting she had overreacted was not much better than admitting she had been wrong in the first place- which she most certainly hadn't been. She settled for a vague grunt and a shrug.

"Look, I'm sorry Rahne, I really am, you have to believe me, I didn't do this to hurt you. I just... I don't know what to do about something like this... and for what it's worth, I care for you too. A lot, actually. More than I should... God I am screwed up in the head." He sighed and sat on the bed. "Screwed up and falling apart at the same time. Maybe I should save time and just look for the nearest asylum instead."

Now he had suddenly drifted into melancholy depression. Rahne had by now given up on trying to predict or keep track of his constant mood swings and instead focussed her energy on just keeping up and making sure he didn't end up doing anything too dangerous, either for himself or others. However, something he had said had stuck in her mind.

"What do you mean, more than you should?" she asked. Possibly it was insensitive to ask when he was clearly in one of his more depressive moods but it had worried her; besides, it was probably better that she kept him focussed on conversation rather than lapse into deeper self-examination, and possibly self-castigation and punishment. She was doing him a favour, really.

"I don't even know how old I am now," Jamie said. "But James was at least in his twenties, I've got to be somewhere in between, and your only sixteen... it's not... right. It doesn't feel right."

"Yes it does," Rahne said quickly. Too quickly, really, and she went flame red as her mouth slammed shut. It was not just embarrassment; good old-fashioned guilt played a part too thanks to her old-fashioned religious upbringing. "You know it does."

"Well, it shouldn't," Jamie said sharply. "I'm not saying you can't come along, but you're here as my friend, okay? Because friends do look out for each other... and they don't do... other stuff. So no, no... stuff, got it? Because friends don't do that, and you're here as a friend, and just as a friend, so... no stuff. Right..."

Rahne's expression stated very clearly what she thought of that, and in all fairness it was precisely what Jamie had been asking himself even as his mouth started spewing that nonsense: just who was he trying to convince? It clearly hadn't worked on Rahne, because as her words had proven she was definitely not here as a friend, at least not entirely. And as for himself... no, it hadn't worked there either. On his first meeting with Rahne he had been angry, and then his emotions had started to play hot potato with his brain, but as soon as his head was clear enough, he had realised he was not angry, or sad, or depressed that she had found him. He was... happy. More than happy... that little kicking sensation in his chest, as though his heart had tried to burst through his ribs... no, he was anything but sad. But that only made it wrong. The age difference, and his mental state, they were both valid points to suggest she get out now before it was too late- for both of them.

"Prove it," Rahne said suddenly.

"What?" Jamie said, stunned. "How... I mean... _what_?"

"You say we're just friends, prove it," Rahne said. Her tone was very matter-of-fact but the blush spreading across her face betrayed her. Under Jamie's shocked scrutiny her face turned such a deep red it was hard where to tell where skin ended and her hair began, but the determined set of her jaw made it quite clear that she would not change her mind about this.

"Okaaay," Jamie said uncertainly. "So have you got a bible you want me to swear on something? What are you asking, exactly?"

"Kimyensayat," Rahne said so quickly and quietly that Jamie completely missed what she was actually saying.

"Say what?"

"I said, come here and say that," Rahne said. She was still very quiet but was at least not inaudible. Of course, hearing something and believing it were two completely different things, and Jamie felt he had only managed the first.

"What?" He said again. He was aware that his side of the conversation had become rather predictable but he was too busy trying to unravel his thoughts and get them in order to engage in witty repartee. There were a whole host of other questions he wanted to ask but none of them seemed appropriate- why ask that? How would it prove, well, anything? He had been trying to prevent that sort of... business... not encourage it.

"I mean, you say you want to be friends, and that's all," Rahne said, her voice still very quiet. "So why are you going all the way to avoid me? If it was just friends then it would be just a little joke thing, no harm done, wouldn't it?"

"Would it?" Jamie wasn't sure about that. They certainly hadn't been that close, not in that sense anyway, back when they really had been friends, and in fact hardly ever when they had tried a proper relationship although that had been down to nerves and embarrassment rather than a lack of desire, on his side at least. On the other hand, Rahne was a girl- who knew how they thought? Not Jamie, that was for sure. Fine then; he _would _do it. Whatever she wanted him to prove, he would prove it and that would be it. No more problems. No more nagging suspicion he was still very attracted to her. No more trying to find reasons to forget about the whole age thing and all the other problems and make it work somehow, and no more... Damn it, he was just making the whole thing worse.

"Fine," he said. "I will. I will do that." But he didn't move. Perhaps it was because he had managed to skip the intervening years but at his new age of twenty-plus, he was still the same awkward, dorky idiot he had been aged sixteen, particularly regarding the opposite gender.

"Then tell me that," Rahne said. "Tell me you don't want me around as anything except a friend." She had somehow managed to close the distance between them until she was only a few feet away. This was most unlike the demure, shy Rahne Sinclair that her friends all knew her as but she had realised that whatever the truth behind the situation there was no chance of Jamie taking steps to resolve it. And now more than ever, she was sure that she was right, or at least, it was possible that she could be, just maybe there was a chance... Her heart was thudding so hard and fast that she would not have been surprised if her whole body had been reverberating to the beat.

Jamie tried very hard not to look like his intestines were having a wrestling match. Remember, cool and composed. Nothing to worry about. Just a few simple words and... done... finished... sorted. Yeah. He took a step closer and now he was close enough to make out every little entrancing detail. The cute little button nose, the eyes that were warm and adorably shy at the same time, as though there was love for the world but too embarrassed to show, the little half-smile... Rahne had looked away in embarrassment; for all her confident, decisive instructions she was still very insecure and slightly abashed. Then she seemed to find something interesting on the other side of the room but as she moved her head her eyes met Jamie's and they both froze. Right then Jamie knew two things- firstly, at that moment he wanted nothing more than to kiss her. No questions answered, no mysteries solved, no problems overcome, just one kiss. The second thing was that he was not going to do it. She was too young for him to justify his perversity, and besides whatever she may think he was not the person she was still convinced he was. No, he was going to fight down his depraved impulses and man up! He decided to tell her this, as gently as possible.

"Rmmf!" Well, that was not exactly what he had intended to say, and the tone he had been aiming for had been resolute fortitude not surprise. On the other hand he had not taken into account the possibility that chaste, moral little Rahne had decided to throw those values to one side and take the initiative. He managed to pry her off with great reluctance and looked down at her. "Damn it Rahne! No... Just no... Don't make me... us... just stop it. Stop!"

What the point lacked in coherent, rational logic it more than made up for in fervency. It was not that he didn't want to, the complete opposite in fact. He had made it quite clear that he didn't want to do this, well actually he really, really wanted to do it but on moral grounds he realised he shouldn't, though of course really morals and minors didn't really mix... oh crap! Rahne _was _a minor... that made it illegal, right? But that gave him a valid reason to break it off... but he didn't want to...

"Jamie?" He became aware of a voice saying his name and realised that he had literally become lost in the moment. A side effect of his mental splintering appeared to be a difficulty in keeping his 'main' mind on the rails, which may explain his mood swings now he thought about it. Of course Rahne could not know that, she only had his forceful reaction to go on.

"Hmm?" Way to go, Madrox. A young, passionate girl teetering on a moral cliff and desperately seeking acceptance if not agreement and the reaction is 'hmm.' That will do wonders... He shook his head trying to clear his mind. As his emotions rose it seemed his control loosened proportionately. Rahne was still standing very close although he did have his tongue back to speak with. "It's just... I thought I told you..."

"What you told me was clearly a load of bollocks," Rahne said. Even in his confusion and shock Jamie could not prevent one eyebrow rising. Rahne must be really worked up to give even that relatively mild curse. "I think we just established that."

"We established you keep trying to ruin this... whatever it is," Jamie snapped. "I don't know what to feel, what I _should _feel but I do know I told you to, well, not do that."

He was now towering above her. Even as young Jamie he had been taller than Rahne, albeit only a little, but with extra years had come extra inches. He stepped closer to emphasise the physical disparity between them and opened his mouth to make a suitably forceful remark when to his surprise he found his lips instead in contact with Rahne's. The Scottish shapeshifter was just as surprised but by no means upset by the turn of events. When they had first started their relationship they had only kissed a few times, and every time had been, well, sloppy, in every sense of the word. Now though Jamie seemed to be controlling her body and mastering her impulses with ease... when and how had he learnt to do that?

Jamie was not particularly sure about that himself. He knew James had been much more experienced than himself, and several memories from his other self resurfaced in his mind... a voluptuous body, a sensual if rather arrogant face. He was slightly embarrassed to find that even the memory of a luscious, talented tongue came to mind before he managed to place a name to the face: Monet St Croix. He remembered her from the very first time he and Rahne had encountered X-Factor Investigations, as a male (and a then teenaged one) she was not someone you forgot in a hurry. It seemed as though James had been in some kind of relationship with her, certainly he had kissed her... and more than kissed her, in fact they had even-

"Whoa!" Jamie couldn't help recoiling in shock, his face scarlet. Whoever James had been, he had certainly been much more... adventurous than Jamie himself. Even if the memories had been pale reflections, faded by time- whoa, indeed. Rahne of course was totally unaware of the thoughts and memories and Jamie quickly decided to keep it that way. Even if he could put some of them into words it would only make her jealous, and given her religious background quite possibly offend her deeply on many levels.

"Did I do something-?" Rahne asked worriedly.

"What? No! It's just... I knew how stubborn you could be, I've just never been so grateful for it," Jamie said with a grin he hoped was disarming and not lecherous.

"Not that I'm complaining, but that came over you awful quick," Rahne said. She was now even redder than before, almost scarlet, but it was not entirely shame, there was a kind of shock and even pleasure in her expression. "You're moods keep changing... are you, I don't know... ill? Is there something...?"

"The meds!" Jamie said, sounding disappointed to have only just realised it. "Back at the Institute, when I was, erm, unstable, Doc McCoy kept me stuffed full of all kinds of pills to try and keep me from getting worse. I guess this must just be withdrawal or something. I'm sure I'll be fine..."

He didn't sound very sure but it seemed a decent explanation so Rahne decided to let it pass for now. She had other questions to ask.

"So what do we do now?" She asked. Jamie grinned.

"I've been thinking about that, and I've come up with a plan..."

_Cerebro Room, Xavier Institute_

Hank McCoy watched his friend anxiously. Xavier had been using the device to try and find Jamie, Rahne or both, but without them using their powers it proved very hard. Eventually he picked up on Rahne's power signature and realised the half-familiar one nearby must be Jamie, post-meld. Hank had watched several expressions pass across Xavier's face, some of them almost comical in their extremity. Eventually Xavier sighed and removed the helmet.

"Charles? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Hank, don't worry," Xavier assured him, although he still looked rather pale and exhausted.

"Did you manage to find them?"

"Oh yes," Xavier said. "They're even in Bayville, surprisingly enough. Once I pinpointed their general location I quickly picked up the specifics- I even managed to link partially."

"Is that why you reacted like that?" Hank asked. "With the greatest respect, some of your expressions, looked rather... odd, to say the least."

"When I linked with their minds, I could not help picking up their emotional state too," Xavier explained. "Suffice to say I soon discovered just how... passionate young people can be." He smiled weakly. It had been a while since he had experienced that first hand, and it had come as quite a shock.

"Did you find out what Jamie is doing?"

"Yes," Xavier confirmed. "He appears to be on some kind of journey to find out about that rogue dupe, James."

"If he's in Bayville, shouldn't we call the main team back and find him? He's still weak after his experiences," Hank suggested.

"We should bring the others home," Xavier said thoughtfully. "But even you and I don't know what is really going on inside Jamie's mind, so imagine how hard it must be for him. I think this is something Jamie has to do alone." He smiled as he recalled the thoughts he'd picked up. "Well... not entirely alone."


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: no money, no ownership. Oh yeah, except the secretary, I made him up but he's a loser. All other characters are property of their creators. **

**Reviews as welcome as always!**

**OYOJ&R4**

_The Kavita Rao Centre for Genetic Study_

Rahne was not entirely sure what the significance of this place was, but if Jamie seemed convinced then that was good enough for her. To Rahne, it seemed to be just some sterile, imposing building with its whitewashed walls and small, regular windows giving it a distinctly impersonal air. Even Jamie seemed slightly put out by the sight but he took Rahne's hand for comfort and walked inside. The man sitting at the reception desk wore a harassed expression and a cheap, crumpled shirt; clearly he did not belong amongst the upper echelons of this place.

"Can I help you?" He asked politely as they got closer.

"Yes, I'd like to talk to Dr Rao, please," Jamie said with equal politeness. The request seemed to surprise the man and he looked distinctly flustered as he pushed paper around the desk busily.

"Why would you-? I mean, absolutely not! Out of the question," the man babbled. It seemed to be an overreaction, to say the least. Even if Dr Rao had been busy or otherwise unavailable then that was all he had to say; he was reacting as though Jamie and Rahne had burst in to hold him up at gunpoint.

"Calm down," Rahne said soothingly. "We're not here to, to attack you or anything like that."

"Oh you're not, are you? No-one ever is! They're all 'oh yes, business call' and then it's out come the petrol bombs and..."

"Wait, what?" Jamie cut in, shocked. "Petrol bombs?"

"Oh yes," the man said bitterly. "This is one of the most well known mutant studying centres in the country- that makes it a prime target for any lunatics with weapons and a hate-on for mutants. It's not as though the police are any good..."

"Look, Dr Rao will know me," Jamie said with more certainty than he truly felt. "I used to be a, uh, patient here. I'm just hoping she could help me with some answers..."

"A patient?" The man repeated blankly. "I mean... okay, I'll contact her. What was the name again?"

"Jamie Madrox," Jamie said. The man shrugged, clearly the name meant nothing to him but why should it? He was just a glorified receptionist when it came down to it. He pressed a button and spoke into it quickly. Jamie could not make out the exact words but recognised his own name being mentioned several times. The first time this happened, the voice on the other end of the conversation rose audibly and the discussion became much quicker. The poor receptionist looked absolutely baffled by the turn of events, which made Jamie curious. Obviously his return here was a very big deal to him, but it appeared that Dr Rao was equally excited- or surprised. There was even more to this than he had thought.

"Okay, if you'll follow me, I'll show you to Dr Rao," he said. His tone was equal parts confusion and relief that this strange pair would finally be someone else's problem. At least with arsonists it was easy to tell what was so disturbing about them. He bumbled along, not even bothering to try and make small talk, leading them through winding corridors and up flights of stairs. Even at the fast pace he lead them, Rahne could pick up traces of various scents- human, mutant and chemical. Whatever research went on here, it involved experimentation of some kind- but Jamie had never mentioned any of this to any of the X-Men before. The man finally stopped before one door marked 'Dr K. Rao' and knocked briskly.

"Come in," an accented but educated voice called. The receptionist opened the door and ushered the pair inside before departing with slightly more haste than was really polite. As they walked in they were met by what had to be Dr Rao- a tall Indian woman with black hair in a neat ponytail and an expensive suit. She shook Jamie's hand, and then Rahne's, who was surprised by the firmness and strength of the grip. Dr Rao was clearly far more than just a scientist; she was a woman of conviction and fortitude.

"Please, sit down," she said politely, gesturing to two empty seats. Rahne sat next to Jamie and took his hand comfortingly; whatever his exterior appearance indicated, she knew him well enough that even without her enhanced senses she could tell he was very nervous. Rahne did not know the doctor quite as well but suspected she was almost as nervous herself.

"I apologise I'm staring, Mr Maddox," Rao apologised. "It's just you're older- younger... well, you're not quite the age I expected."

"I don't even know what age I am," Jamie conceded. "And it's Madrox."

"Again, my apologies," Dr Rao said. "I don't think it would be safe to expect anything in a situation like yours, but I doubt anyone expected the current situation."

"To be honest with you doc, I don't even know what the situation even is at the moment," Jamie admitted. "I mean, I only found out James existed a few hours before, well, he didn't any more... technically."

"Technically?"

"That's kind of why I'm here," Jamie explained. "We... merged, and it resulted in me, erm, in charge of the new body. But the Professor- that's Professor Xavier- thinks that James' personality or whatever it is still exists inside my head. Or something... he doesn't know much more than me really."

"It's possible," Dr Rao explained. "I suppose I should begin by explaining just why your situation is different to almost any other mutants..."

_Los Alamos Hospital, 15 years ago_

The familiar petulant wail of a newborn filled the air and the ears of everyone present- except the mother. Joan Madrox had slumped into unconsciousness almost the instant her child had been born, before she could even be told what gender it was. An anxious doctor had examined her and pronounced her stable, but the situation remained tense. The labour had been unlike any he could remember- the technical term was 'complications' but he had no idea what exactly the complications had been, as strange as that sounded. At various stages there had been the impression Joan had been giving birth to a single child, twins or triplets, and this estimate had swung wildly as the labour progressed. Eventually one child had been born and to the best medical expertise available that appeared to be all- though that would not have come as much relief to the exhausted new mother. The assisting nurse had slapped the infant lightly as was the customary precaution in case of breathing or heart difficulties- then let out a shriek almost as piercing as the baby's. In her arms were two baby boys- identical to the last wrinkle.

"What the-?" The doctor had the sense and restraint to keep his astonishment under his breath- the last thing the new father needed was to hear the doctor at a total loss for words. The doctor even managed to restrain himself to a muted gasp as one of the two boys vanished suddenly... although vanished was not quite the word. There had been a sort of blurring effect as though the two infants were merging somehow- then one had vanished entirely.

"Congratulations, Mr Madrox, you are the father of a healthy new baby boy," the doctor said, managing to keep his voice impressively steady. Not steady enough though- even down to the last frayed rags of his nerves Daniel Madrox picked up on the slightest hint of uncertainty.

"Doctor? Is there something wrong? Is Joan... is the boy... going to be okay?"

"You're wife is fine, she's just absolutely exhausted," the doctor said, glad there was one thing he could be vaguely certain about.

"And... Jamie?" Daniel remembered the name they had agreed beforehand. The doctor was on much less secure ground on that one- the Hippocratic Oath neglected to cover infants that materialised and disappeared seemingly at random. In the end he resorted to an older but equally valid motto: when in doubt, tell the truth.

"To be perfectly honest with you, Mr Madrox... I'm not entirely sure what is going to happen to, uh, Jamie..."

"What do you mean?"

"Can I suggest you sit back down, Mr Madrox? This could take a lot of explaining..."

_Present Day_

"This is of course second hand," Dr Rao pointed out. "But it comes from both your parents and Charles- sorry, Professor Xavier when he, shall we say questioned the doctor, and I don't see why they would make anything like this up."

"So you're saying my powers were there from the very beginning?" Jamie asked, bemused. "I mean, I knew they manifested earlier than most do, I was at the Institute when I was eleven, but I thought that mutants only, erm, mutate when they get to their teens don't they?"

"That's what we thought too," Dr Rao admitted. "Well, we still do for the most part. With your powers showing at such a young age, you're actually one of the first mutants recorded since scientists actually accepted the possibility they even exist. For a long time very few people- myself, Professor Xavier and an English scientist, Dr Essex- actually thought mutants were real. There are records going a very long way back of people who we now know must have been mutants, but although we all like to pretend otherwise, scientists are very slow to accept some new ideas."

"But if mutants only gain powers when they reach a certain age, then why did Jamie have his from when he was born?" Rahne put in suddenly.

"I don't know," Dr Rao said bluntly. "The best explanation Professor Xavier and I could come up with is that mutation is exactly that- it involves genes that are somehow different from normal humans. With all the things they allow people to do, I suppose some appearing much earlier than normal is just an especially unusual mutation in itself."

"Which makes me what? A mutant... mutant?" Jamie wondered. "If I wasn't screwed up before I certainly am now."

"I wouldn't say that much," Dr Rao protested. "Who's to say what a 'normal' mutant should be? All the things we know about mutation and we've barely scratched the surface. We certainly can't say what _should _be the case? I know I certainly can't."

"I'll take your word for it, Doc," Jamie said quickly. In his hours as lab assistant to Hank he had quickly learned how fond scientists could be of propounding upon their latest theories and ideas to anyone within earshot. He recalled a memorable afternoon trying to clean up the results of an experimental power-suppressive gas gone wrong while Hank, who had received the full blast of the gas in the face, gave a rambling review of Darwin's _Origin of the Species_, his fur frizzy and scorched and his voice slightly slurred. Jamie may have been being unfair to the good doctor by expecting her to act the same way but in truth he didn't care about what mutants were 'supposed' to be, he just wanted answers to his own dilemma. "But it doesn't explain, well, anything about James- did the guy just pop out of nowhere?"

"Not exactly," Dr Rao said. "The thing about James is that... well, we don't know anything about him."

_The Rao Centre, 6 years ago_

"I don't _like _it!" Jamie whined. "It's really cold in here!"

"Look, I'm sorry Jamie, but we really need to do these tests okay?" The lab assistant said gently. Like all the others, she had grown fond of the nine-year-old boy. For the first time since he had arrived, four years previously, his parents had left him in the sole care of the scientists, although they did visit regularly. Currently Jamie was dressed in what looked like a black wet-suit but with three strange circular devices on the chest. The theory was that these would channel the kinetic energy generated in his numerous bumps and tumbles and prevent said energy creating duplicates, but so far this had proved unsuccessful. The assistant lead Jamie to the punch-bag in the corner of the room.

"Okay, Jamie, hit this as hard as you can," she instructed him. The boy glowered at the punch-bag, clearly imagining the assistant in its place. He stomped forward and threw a haymaker at the padded equipment before turning away in a strop. For a moment everyone held their breath... and then it rebounded, hitting him right on the back of the head. He fell to his knees and three dupes popped out, prompting sighs from all those watching. The original Jamie was the first upright and quickly reabsorbed one dupe, but in that moment the other two got up and started to run away. One collided with one of the assistants and Jamie pounced on him quickly, but the other proved more nimble. It dodged and weaved around the room, ducking the arms of the adults and twisting aside every time Jamie grew close. Eventually Jamie managed to trap it in a corner, but the dupe turned out to be one of the more stubborn, independent varieties and pulled faces at Jamie as he closed in.

"Stop it!" The real Jamie snapped and jumped at the dupe. The impact knocked them both down and soon they were rolling on the floor, completely impossible to tell apart. One Jamie bit the other on the arm, prompting the bitten one to jump upright. The biter was punched in the eye but then the assistants managed to drag them apart. One had deep teeth imprints in his arm and the other was sporting a massive black eye, but they were otherwise identical- and more to the point, both still existed. Whichever had been the real Jamie should have absorbed the dupe- but this hadn't happened. Before the assembled scientists had time to get excited- or even before they really realised what happened- one of the Jamies suddenly collapsed and began twitching violently. The other was quickly shepherded out of the room as a tide of white coats converged on the fallen boy.

_Present Day_

"Whoa," Jamie said. "That's kind of... whoa. I mean... what happened? Why did that happen?"

"We don't know," Dr Rao admitted. "We think that it may have been the suit's influence somehow- I don't need to tell you that we could never get it to work properly. We tried all sorts of things but the dupes kept appearing... and being reabsorbed. Whatever happened that day was an anomaly- we've never been able to replicate it."

"Luckily," Jamie said pointedly. He could see the doctor was disappointed about not being able to study the phenomenon more thoroughly but she was not the one who had to live with the consequences, literally. It was bad enough having two people fighting it out in his subconscious, he didn't want to think that there may be other rogue dupes out there he would have to try and discover and then master.

"Yes, yes, of course," Dr Rao said hurriedly. "Of course, we soon realised that the one who had collapsed was the duplicate when we did our tests to try and work out what had happened, as the data we had on you did not quite match up to that we got about the dupe. Unfortunately we didn't actually find out what exactly that meant."

"Wait, back up a minute there will you?" Jamie said. "So this weird dupe wasn't actually a dupe at all? He had different DNA to me, is that what you're saying?"

"Basically... yes." Dr Rao shrugged; she couldn't explain exactly anything she didn't fully understand herself after all. "My best guess is that the dupes you create are technically individuals in their own right, and James was one that somehow manifested a mutation of his own- he was a mutant version of you."

"Holy shit," Jamie said, then glanced across at Rahne guiltily. "Uh, excuse my language."

"We had very similar thoughts ourselves," Dr Rao said, smiling. "James proved to be very unstable, in many ways, so we decided not to try and reintroduce you both. We had to try and study you both separately, but unfortunately we did not get far in either case. One year later, Professor Xavier decided his institute would be a better place for you, at least when you weren't needed here for us."

"And the Professor didn't think to try and work with James as well?" Rahne made her first contribution for a while. She had been slightly confused by the scientific talk without even Jamie's rudimentary knowledge he'd gathered from Hank, but now she was on slightly firmer ground. Something about leaving James behind like that while Jamie got to escape life as a lab rat did not sit right with her, nor did it sound like something the Professor would do. She gave herself a moment to laugh at her own moral pretentiousness- she had only ever known James for a few hours at most, and she would be the first to admit she didn't understand the scientific facts about the situation. She had no real grounds to be judgemental... but that didn't mean she had to like it, either. The Dr shifted uncomfortably and her scent altered. Rahne's eyes narrowed sharply. "You _did_ tell him about James, didn't you?"

"I told him that there had been complications," Dr Rao side-stepped the question. "And we explained that we needed to do further tests. But he was insistent that you were to come with him, so we let you go."

"After all, you didn't need me anymore, did you?" Jamie asked bitterly. "You had a new lab rat to experiment on, and no-one even knew he existed, not even me. There was nothing to stop you doing whatever you wanted."

"Nothing except ethics and humane morals," Dr Rao said sharply. "We're _not _monsters, Mr Madrox. Everything we do here we do with the aim of helping mutants and humans alike, and I would have thought you of all people would appreciate that."

"Sorry," Jamie mumbled. He looked as though he had just been on the receiving end of a lecture from Wolverine, and Rahne would have laughed at his shell-shocked expression if she hadn't been cowed herself. Dr Rao may have looked benevolent enough but she was clearly no pushover.

"You were half right anyway," Dr Rao said. "No-one knew he existed. He had no parents, no family, something about how he came into existence meant that even you, the closest thing he had to a relative of any kind, never even remembered or realised he was alive."

"Oh, the poor boy," Rahne said sadly. She was a naturally compassionate and caring girl, but more than that, she could sympathise in a way with James. For much of her life she had been a pariah and an outcast, cut off from the world and rejected by any- and everyone. What must it have been like to discover no-one even knew you were alive?

"We did our very best to help him, of course we did," Dr Rao said. "As arrogant as it sounds, I think we were the closest thing to a family he ever had. By this time we were treating other mutants too, which must have helped him settle somewhat. But that was not the only problem he faced..."

_The Rao Centre, Four years ago_

"What's the diagnosis doc? How many weeks until my thirtieth?" James asked lightly. He was almost unrecognisable from the mischievous little rascal that had defied the laws of probability by bursting into existence two years previously. The features were the same and the irrepressible sense of humour had only ever grown, but there was one stark fact that belied those details: in two years, James Maddox had doubled in age, and was now to all intents and purposes a young man of eighteen. That kind of aging was enough to worry anyone, although he happened to be in one of the best places in the world to find answers.

"I don't think it's quite that bad," Dr Rao said, smiling. "The results are much more positive."

"Well that's a relief," James said. "I've got nothing against living to an old age, but I'd rather not do it within the next year."

"That's not going to be an issue," Dr Rao assured him. "Whatever happened, I can tell you it's over. As far as we can tell, you are completely stable again, and your powers should return to their usual levels within a few days at the most."

"Is that all the tests done?" James asked. "Because it's kind of cold in here."

"Yes, you're free to go," Dr Rao said. James quickly pulled his t-shirt back on, though not before winking cheekily at one of the younger lab assistants, who blushed lightly. Ever since James had found his body aging so fast, he had not become disheartened or fatalistic, in fact the very opposite; he had decided to get as much life in as possible before he ran out of time. There was a knock on the door and a shaven head peered inside.

"Hey James, they told me you should be out by now," the man said. "What's taking you so long?"

"Says the man who can get out of a door without busting the frame," James shot back quickly.

"Oh, so that's how you want to play it, old man?" The newcomer said. Dr Rao rolled her eyes as the pair bantered back and forth. Guido Carosella was a new addition to their patients and had hit it off with James almost instantly. Guido's powers allowed him to absorb impacts and other kinetic energy but for some reason they had backfired and the energy had spread through his body instead, distorting his torso and chest into a grotesque mass of muscle.

"Didn't your parents ever tell you to respect your elders and betters?" James asked. His accelerated aging process had been a prime source of material for Guido's jokes, but far from being upset or insulted, James appeared to enjoy the constant ribbing. Dr Rao presumed that it somehow helped him to cope with what would otherwise be a very traumatic experience. The two boys had by now vanished out of sight and the other doctors quickly shuffled in to discuss the bizarre turn of events.

"So it really is over?" Dr Hines asked. The young blonde looked like the stereotypical ditzy valley girl but she had a very sharp mind and had been pursued by several other organisations before deciding to join Dr Rao. "What changed? The results so far have been extremely consistent, there was no indication of them dropping off, let alone ceasing completely."

"I'm sure with further research we can discover the cause of the phenomena," of the other scientists said uncertainly. Dr Rao raised an eyebrow at that and turned to Hines.

"Basically... we have no idea."

"It's just that I've been thinking about it, and I may have a theory," Hines said nervously. She may have been extremely intelligent, but she was also quite clever enough to realise that sheer brains meant very little against experience and knowledge gathered over a long time- two things Dr Rao possessed in abundance.

"Then please explain it," Dr Rao said. "It's more than anyone else can say."

"Well, apart from Jamie all the other mutants have developed their powers during adolescence, haven't they?"

"That's right," Dr Rao confirmed. "As we can tell, Jamie was the exception and not the rule."

"Okay, so due to the accelerated aging, James is now eighteen, which basically means that his growth and hormones and so forth have all stabilised, at least if our other subjects are anything to go by..."

"That seems logical enough," Dr Rao agreed. She was beginning to catch on to what Hines was saying but had decided to let the girl explain it further. After all, it was a very impressive theory and Hines deserved the credit for coming up with it.

"James' genes have always been slightly unstable due to his being a dupe, so what if the aging was a part of that? What if the accelerated aging was due to his mutation developing in an unusual direction? Now he's basically reached adult age and development, physically at least, his powers have stabilised themselves too, and so the other effects have all stopped or at least slowed down..."

"Yes... that would make sense..." One of the other scientists said.

"It would explain a lot," another agreed. "The aging only started when he reached thirteen- about the age mutant abilities usually appear. And now he's old enough..."

"That's brilliant," a younger doctor said, grinning. "Brains _and_ beauty- Carol's got it all."

Hines blushed prettily as the others congratulated her, and Dr Rao grinned to herself.

_Present Day_

"So that's why he was so much older than me," Jamie said, looking astonished. "And why I didn't sense him as a dupe, his powers had developed so he was a separate being. That's just... actually, I don't know what that is, except kind of hard to get my head around."

"Believe me, we found it pretty amazing too," Dr Rao said. "This was beyond anything we'd discovered. Mutant development and what was effectively cloning- natural cloning, without any outside influence. Of course, we soon found out that James' power was _not _the ability to get old faster. He had mutant abilities of his own."

"He had powers? I mean, I know he had powers, he was with that team, but..." Jamie was finding it harder and harder to fully comprehend what he was being told. He'd wanted answers, and he was getting them- but he would never have guessed the route they would take him on.

"They appeared to be derivatives of your own," Dr Rao explained. "He couldn't fully create dupes himself, but he could temporarily insert himself into another person's mind- dupes by proxy, if you like."

"But if he's a whole different person, how come I absorbed him like this?" Jamie asked.

"I don't know," Dr Rao said apologetically. "There's still a lot about this that I don't totally understand. My guess is that he was still just close enough genetically to trigger your powers somehow, and as you were no longer wearing the suit..."

"Thanks doc," Jamie said. He stood up abruptly, surprising both Rahne and the doctor. Dr Rao had expected him to ask more questions, or at least seek clarification, and Rahne had wanted to hear more herself, quite apart from which Jamie was pretty laid-back and such borderline-rude brusqueness was totally out-of-character. She remembered his sudden mood-swings back in his room- how could she not?- but she had been sure that he had got over it, ascribing it to his tiredness and shock at seeing her. Jamie must have noticed their expressions as he hurried to excuse himself.

"I'm sorry, it's just so much to take in right now," he explained. "I just need to try and, and, understand. I just don't... it's just too much. I mean, I know where you are now, so if I need to try and find out more..."

"Of course," Dr Rao said kindly. She completely understood his confusion. It had taken her quite a long time to fully comprehend what exactly had occurred, let alone work out all the side-effects and ramifications, and she was a scientist, she had been actively _looking _for this kind of thing.

"Well... thanks again." Jamie shook Dr Rao's hand and left the room quickly. Rahne smiled at Dr Rao and hurried after him, almost like a dog after its master. That simile made her smile wryly. She had been sincere about her desire to stand by Jamie and help him through this- but that was proving harder than expected. She only had the loosest grasp of what exactly had happened, and she suspected Jamie was not a lot better off. Still a promise was a promise, and to Jamie. Whatever she could do, she would. She quickly dashed after him, but almost ran right past him. He was leaning against the wall outside the reception with an expression somewhere between fear, revelation and determination- an odd combination, but an understandable one in the circumstances.

"Jamie? Are you okay?" She asked nervously. It was not a particularly intelligent question but she was not sure what, if anything, was appropriate to say in a situation like this. To her relief Jamie did not take offense; he seemed too shell-shocked to display any strong emotion.

"I could be worse," he replied vaguely. Rahne edged closer and took his hand. To her surprise he used the opportunity to pull her close her and wrap both arms around her. She quickly got over her shock and returned the embrace warmly, realising he just needed someone to hold him, someone real and comforting when he needed them most.

"I killed him," Jamie said suddenly. Rahne didn't pull away but she did look up at him in shock.

"I did," Jamie countered her unspoken argument. "Just listening to Dr Rao in there... it made me realise. James wasn't just some dupe, he was a real person, a totally different person, and I took that away from him. Everything he was and could have been, and now he's gone. He's gone, he's dead and it's my fault. I killed him, just as much as shooting or stabbing him would have done."

"Jamie, you didn't know," Rahne said. "You couldn't have known. No-one would. What happened was... bad, of course it was, but it was a mistake you couldn't have seen coming."

"I suppose that makes it okay then," Jamie said darkly.

"It doesn't make it okay," Rahne said. "But seeing you like this... beating yourself up, torturing yourself with your guilt... it hurts, Jamie. It hurts in ways I can't even describe. You're better than this, you are the best friend I have ever had. And won't find out what has happened for my sake, do it for your own- for both your sakes. If James really does still exist in your head, maybe you just need... resolution."

"Resolution..." Jamie said thoughtfully. He clearly still felt the deep guilt but his expression had firmed distinctly, the expression of a man prepared to face his demons and if necessary fight them head-on. "That should shut the son of a bit- gun! Son of a gun! - up. This is a strictly one-man brain-" he tapped it pointedly. "And I'm that man. Come on Rahne... we've got a lot of visiting to do."


End file.
